From the very beginning of Hip Hop music, artists have used their medium to express struggles faced by themselves and their community. It’s no surprise that the theme of emotional suffering and pain shows up regularly in rap lyrics. Hearing how deeply this illness impacts so many, regardless of race, creed, background or economic status, can provide some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your journey.
Young black men experience a lot of trauma. They’ve lost people, seen violence, been humiliated by the society. In this song Turm communicates many feelings most have when death occurs, especially at random, undeserving times.
This is the fourth installment on his ‘13 August Freestyle’ marathon, he releases yearly to celebrate his birthday with his fans.
In this emotional roller-coaster there's a sense of weariness due to anxiety of his past and present life difficulties, nonetheless it's one of Turm’s more philosophical raps that truly explains his relationship with God and how seriously he takes death.
First verse he is reading his suicide note. In which he outlines all his struggles, suffering and fight with depression, from feeling trapped in his own body, not being able to sleep, confidence and self-esteem dropping to feeling like a disappointment to his family and hurting the mother of his child endlessly – he feels he has lost purpose in this life and in turn this leads to him taking his own life. He chooses every word carefully showing that deep inside he doesn’t want to die, but he can’t deny it will end his struggles.
Second verse his spirit is floating on earth, all confused looking at the pain he has caused. This verse has close links to scenes from the book of Revelations, he is in heaven where he is to receive his divine judgement, but he realises that he has sinned and now feels bad for putting his loved one through that pain and he thinks he is going to be sent hell. He asks God for his life back, a second chance so he can go home and be a better father and son but it’s too late, they’re carrying his lifeless body in a coffin.
Third verse an angel of death responding and speaking to him. It suggests that suicide is indeed a permanent solution but to a temporary problem and the big downside is its very permanence make room for other options. Also suggests that time and perspective change even the trenchant of beliefs, it goes further to tell him he should have forgiven himself, pray about it and use those problems to build himself because everyone else has their demons that they battle with, instead of being comfortable with the unfortunate ‘last’ option of victimizing himself.
It’s a perfect model to write about suicidal thoughts because there is a big difference between suicide awareness and suicide prevention, it’s very easy to glamorize it and get the message wrong. “Art can connect people with sufferings, but there has to be hope on the other side. It does not have to end in tragedy if you give people an action step.” – Draper
When rappers open up, fans listen; and this case, they’re moved to open up too. Now that the genre is finally more open to its dark mental storms, how should artists write and work in honest ways, while also helping those who are truly suffering?
By Shabba-Pen
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